Feeling Myself
I made a promise to myself that in this good ole year 2021 I was leaving fear, doubt and negative thoughts in the past. It’s time for me to “feel” every part of myself. For way too long I have allowed thing after thing to permit me to hide behind the goals, plans and visions God has given me. It’s go time now and in the words of the great teedy, Maxine Waters, “I’m reclaiming my time.”
Ques music….
In my best Beyonce’ voice, “I’m feeling myself, I’m feeling myself, I’m feeling my….” It’s personal this year y’all. I am making myself more available to God so that I can hear Him clearly. In my 33 years of life there have been very few times that loud and clearly I can say that I've heard God. Last month, as I was setting my goals for this year God spoke to me. God told me to go with my move. If you follow me on IG then you have been hearing me talk about this a lot. God told me that I have prayed, planned and plotted and now it is time to GO! So, this year I’m going! Full throttle. That’s a word for somebody! It’s go time Sis.
My ultimate goal this year is to get out of my own way. Many times I’ve had visions and plans to be carried out and I stopped myself from moving forward. I allowed myself to believe I was not good enough and that my thoughts were invalid and then boom here comes someone else with the same exact thought and it blows up. Enough with the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s. I am enough, I am doing me and I will be where the money reside all 2021. My motto this year is” she believed she could and DID!” Everything I put my mind to will manifest. And if it don't it won't be because I was too afraid to go.
To kick off this journey of me, I re-enrolled into college. This is something I have been considering for some time now, but I kept telling myself I couldn't do it. God told me after all these years it’s time to get my stuff together. I dropped out of college 12 years ago and really never looked back. I could not pass Trigonometry for the life of me and Chile I took a “break.” Everyone knows what taking a break actually means though. Year after year went by and school became the last thing on my mind. Here’s the killer part though and don’t start swinging on me when I say this : I need 120 credits to graduate and I have 66 completed. That means in about 2 years I’ll be done. Should have been done right? Lol. I told you no more shoulda’s though. I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. So, here I am 12 years later and I’m going with my move. Bachelor’s in Psychology coming soon! Yay me!
Another area of my life where there has been a lack in confidence has been my blog and business. So many people tell me I’m dope in real life but, I’m the last one to really see it. Most times I don’t see it at all. Not anymore Chile. I’m here y’all and like Lil Baby, I’m going all in. I claim this year that I will put out dope content. I will speak with confidence and my name is being mentioned in rooms that I had no clue existed. That’s just how much I’m feeling myself. Last year I took a risk and started my business. This year I am expanding my business and claiming success. She believed she could and DID will be the story.
Sometimes you have to “feel” yourself even when no one else does. Feeling you is not arrogance, but confidence. One of my all time favorite quotes is “confidence is a stain you can’t wipe off.” Lil Wayne said that in a song some years ago and I’m just starting to understand what he meant. Walk with your held high. Don’t let your circumstances define you, let them push you to go harder. Go with your move and own it! That’s how I’m moving in 2021. Of course everyday will not be a good day, but ultimately I will come out on top. Do something for
this year. Go back to school, start the business, write the book, speak your truth, stand in your purpose, it’s time to go with your move Sis. I’m feeling myself, are you?
