Surviving Mother's Day without Mom
In November, it will be 7 years since I loss my mom. Her obituary says she loss her battle to cancer, but over the years I have come to realize that she didn't lose. Absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and I can't think of a better victory. Nonetheless I'm still here without her and for me it doesn't feel like winning. There are times when all I do is cry, but the saying "it gets better with time," is definitely true. At every thought of mom tears would fill my eyes and emotions would overcome me. Now more times than not I smile at the thought of mom. I'd say that's better with time. Mother's day is right around the corner and although I'm a mom myself it's always hard for me to be celebrated when the woman I want to celebrate is not here. I've gotten through 6 Mother's Days without her and let me tell you its been a journey. The first few I didn't think I would survive, but over the years it has gotten "better." I know Mother's Day can be tough for anyone that has loss their mom, especially when your mom was your best friend. Hopefully this can help you not just survive the day but live in the moment.
5 ways to help you survive Mother's Day without mom:
1. Reflect on the good times. Think about all the good memories you and your mom have had together. This always helps me. I think about all the laughs and funniest moments we've shared. Reflecting on the good times can still bring tears, but your heart will smile. Looking at photo albums and/videos can help as well.
2 Corinthians 5:8
2. Rest in assurance. Absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Rest in the assurance that your mom is in a better place. My mom suffered her last months on this earth. To now be certain that her torture is over and she's doesnt have any pain soothes me. At times when it's hard to live without her, I remember the pain she once had is gone. So rest in assurance that your mom has no pain and is at total peace.
3. Write a letter/card. I know there's so much I want to share with my mom. So many life experiences have happened that I wish I could tell her about. Mother's Day is a perfect time to write it all out. Sometimes I write out exactly what I would have told her if she was here. Go indepth and get it all out. An alternative to the letter is a card. You gave mom "Happy Mother's Day " cards every year. Keep the tradition alive. Write it out just as if she were here. This is so soothing and helps to release a lot of emotions you have bottled up. Although I'd trade this anyday to have a real conversation with her, it does make me feel closer to my mom.
4. Visit her. If your mom's grave is close pay her a visit. Visiting my mom's grave gives me a sense of peace. Take a few hours and just sit, talk with your mom, or reflect. I get a sense of closeness when I do this. It makes me feel connected to her.
5. Do something she would enjoy. Whenever I am missing my mom I do an activity we've done together or something she enjoyed when she was here. The last movie mom and I enjoyed together before she died was Joyful Noise. Although this movie isn't that sad I always find myself to be a crying mess once the credits start rolling. Another thing I like to do is listen to her favorite music. I made a “Mama Playlist”on Spotify that always gets me in a loving mama mood. Sometimes I can hear my mom’s voice singing along. Another thing thats puts me in a good mama mood is watching an episode or 2 or 3 or 5 (lol) of The Golden Girls. We watched this show faithfully. She’s the reason I love Sophia Petrillo so much. Engaging in the activities you and your mom enjoyed together or just things she enjoyed alone helps put you in what I like to call a” good mama mood.“ Doing these things always make me feel a closeness thats usually void without my mom. I encourage you to try some of these and see what works for you.
These activities are not limited to just Mother's Day, but whenever you need a dose of mom. Doing these things have not only helped me survive the moments I miss her but bring a sense of peace to me. If you are anything like me then you miss your mom dearly. You'd do anything for one more moment with her. Doing these things won't replace the the physical need you have for your mom, but they sure help me feel closer to mine. I hope this helps you this Mother's Day and everyday you need to feel the presence of your mom.
If you have some different activities that have helped or help you thrive on without your mother leave us some suggestions in the comments. If you find that these activities help you do ’t hesitate to let me know. Be encouraged and Happy Mother's Day to all Moms!