Lifetime of Love
I still can't believe it's my two year wedding anniversary. The time feels like it's ﬂying on by and moving like a snail at the same time. I still remember walking down the aisle to vow my lifetime of love to this man. Now here we are two years in. Sheesh. I am so grateful to God for my husband, he is far from perfect but amazing just as he is. The love we share for God and each other is so sweet. Life together is not always perfect or sweet, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Just like everyone else we argue, disagree and I'm sure he wants to throat check me because of my smart mouth from time to time. Just as I want to do him at times, but even in those moments I cant think of any other person I would want to do life with. Happy anniversary to my everything!
Before our wedding we attended marriage counseling with our pastor and ﬁrst lady of our church. I have to say this experience was amazing. I was so fearful at the thought of marriage counseling. In fact I was dreading it. I think my husband and I both were. We imagined it to be like what we saw on television and thought one of us would end up confessing some deep dark secret that would have had one of us running for the hills. Thank God it wasn't, in fact the experience was just the opposite. I like to think that we grew closer in those moments. In counseling we covered a plethora of subjects, some including communication, ﬁnances, sex, baggage, etc. One of my favorite subjects to discuss was communication. We learned the importance of communication in a marriage and the proper ways to communicate with one another. I am a person who shuts down, I hide feelings deep down in the locker of my soul and explode at any given moment. So learning to and how to communicate was life changing for me. Now my husband and I have our occasional arguments like everyone else and although we dont always do what we learned in counseling we always ﬁnd ourselves laughing after the fact because we remember what we learned and how different our "argument" may have went if we'd applied the lessons from counseling. I encourage all couples to get marriage counseling before tying the knot. Not only did we learn proper ways to do things, but we learned what was expected of us from our spouse. We emptied our hearts to each other and in those moments I knew I had made the right decision to marry him.
My second favorite topic we discussed was baggage. Baggage seemed so scary to talk about, but it was so necessary to talk about. We all have some type of it and sometimes it's hard to identify what is indeed baggage. So you have to really think about it. If you dont admit ﬁrst to yourself the baggage you carry, you wont be successful in marriage. Discussing this before being wedded is super important. I dont care how long you've been with your spouse. You've got some baggage that needs unpacking. Talk about it and be honest. Then decide together what you guys will keep and what yall dont want to bring into your marriage. It's like moving in together and having two of everything. You have to get rid of the stuff you two don't need or don't want. It is extremely important to do this. You don't wanna get married and later ﬁnd out somethings that you are not sure if you can handle, but if you go in knowing you can decide beforehand if it's something you can deal with. When you get married you become one, so being transparent is important.
Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! I know you've heard that once you get married it becomes nonexistent. Honestly it can be, but with the right kind of commitment it'll be life altering. I know you're thinking who wants to talk about this right? But listen sex is important in marriage. No, a marriage should not be based on sex, but a healthy sex life is important in marriage. The bible even tells us not to deprive our spouses of sex. "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control." - 1 Corinthians 7:5 I'll be perfectly honest, this was hard for me. It's not that I'm not into my husband, but life. Man our life is so busy. Our days most times start at 5am and end around 10pm. How in the world can we ﬁt in sex. I am exhausted. We have two kids, we both work hard jobs and lets not mention extracurriculars. Sex seems impossible and the furthest thing from my mind. So I thought. I realized that we make time for any and everything our hearts desire but we say we don't have time for sex. Most marriages break up because of lack of sex and ﬁnances. I dont want to be in that number and as I mentioned before my husband is handsome. "Girl get yo life," I had to tell myself. Fit sex in! I dont care how tired you are, what the kids got going on, whatever. Fit it in!! Make it interesting also. The marriage bed is undeﬁled. Also in the bible. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled;" Hebrews 13:4 SO GET IT ON!! I promise it makes your marriage better.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. Though I've only had two years of experience I ﬁnd it to be a rewarding experience. I've witnessed so many failed marriages in my life, so I promised myself I would do all I could to have a successful one. I wouldn't trade my husband for anything in the world. He is amazing and I mean it. He has come a long way and I am thankful to God for keeping His hand continually on him. To have someone who loves me, supports me, and real life cherishes me is amazing. Although he drives me crazy sometimes and I wanna punch him in the throat from time to time. I know I'm not alone in wanting to do this to my husband right? (Lol) I love him with all my heart. He really is my everything. I love the man he has grown into, the father he is to our kids and most importantly the true man of God he has become. He puts and keeps God ﬁrst and because of that He is able to lead us as a family. We would not be here if it had not been for counseling. Marriage counseling has and continues to help us in our marriage. The topics I discussed here are not even half of all the topics we covered. I learned the things that my husband expects of me as his wife and vice versa. I can say our connection has grown from counseling and the things learned help us in our day to day lives. Even when we deter from them. The lessons learned are etched in our brains and we realize how we messed up after. Life will throw you all kinds of crazy but being committed to your spouse and having a ﬁrm foundation built will help your marriage weather the storm. The storms we have faced in our short two years have not broken us apart but have made us stronger. I truly believe having those counseling sessions beforehand have alot to do with that. I strongly suggest Marriage counseling to all couples engaged or even considering marriage. It will change your lives for the better. As it has mine. Wow! Two years as a wife! I never thought I'd be here and even with all the hard work that it is, I am so happy to share my life with my husband, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to us!!!